


Self Defense

by liionne



Series: A thousand ways to meet [16]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Criminals, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-07
Updated: 2013-10-07
Packaged: 2017-12-28 17:36:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/994681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liionne/pseuds/liionne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Sorry 'bout shooting you." Jim said, actually sounding quite sincere. "That's not what this was supposed to be. We were just here for that huge ass TV."</p><p>He pointed at the TV in the corner of the room, and Leonard scowled. "Well that makes me feel much better."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Self Defense

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt given by Lucy: Jim and his Enterprise gang are the worst robbers in history because they need the money and their hearts aren't really in it and end up getting bossed around by the worst hostage in history who was accidentally shot and is grumpy as hell about it all.
> 
> Semi-beta'd, so I apologise for mistakes.

"Jim, you _shot_ him!"

"I wasn't supposed to, alright? My finger slipped."

"Your finger slipped? Captain, that is a rather unlikely occurrance."

"Shut up! He spooked us! It was self defense!"

The group of once-great now-terrible criminals stood in a close cluster at the opposite corner of the room to the man they'd shot - presumably the owner of the house. He clutched his leg as it bled, and grit his teeth tight together.

"I can still hear you." He growled.

The group jumped.

"Sulu, Chekov, make sure nobody heard the shot and got suspicious. Check the front and the back." Jim ordered, even though he was quite visibly shaking. "Uh, Carol, Uhura, the phones." They nodded, and followed Chekov and Sulu out of the room. "And Spock?" Jim ran a hand over his face. "Go and find a first aid kit so I can patch him up."

"Don't bother." He scowled. "I'm callin' the god damn cops, and then I'm callin' myself an ambulance."

"May I remind you that you are the hostage here." Spock said calmly. "And we also have your phones."

"The med kit, Spock." Jim prompted, and Spock left the room.

Their hostage just growled under his breath again, and grumbled something unintelligable.

Jim approached him slowly, and their hostage eyed him warily. "What's your name?" Jim asked as he crouched down beside him.

"We really going for polite introductions?" He snarled.

Jim shrugged. "Don't see why not." he held a gloved hand out to McCoy. "Jim, Jim Kirk."

He looked at it for a long moment before he sighed. "McCoy," he said gruffly, as he shook Jim's hand. "Leonard McCoy."

Jim smiled slightly. "Nice to meet you."

McCoy just frowned at him. "I can't say the same."

Jim chuckled; he knew.

"Sorry 'bout shooting you." Jim said, actually sounding quite sincere. "That's not what this was supposed to be. We were just here for that huge ass TV."

He pointed at the TV in the corner of the room, and Leonard scowled. "Well that makes me feel much better."

Jim chuckled as Spock came back with a med kit.

"Where did you find it?" Jim asked.

"Underneath the kitchen sink." Spock answered.

Jim nodded, and ignored the wide-eyed look Leonard gave him.

"Damn it kid, this entire thing is _backwards_!" he yelled, as Jim opened up the kit. "You _shot_ me whilst trying to _rob_ me. You should get out of here before I fucking kill you myself."

"You wouldn't." Jim said merrily.

"And why the hell wouldn't I?" McCoy hissed.

"Because," Jim said. "We'd tie your hands together first."

McCoy scowled at him as he pulled out a roll of bandage and a wad of cotton wool.

"Jim, perhaps you should let the doctor do this." Spock said.

Jim raised an eyebrow at McCoy. "You're a doctor?"

"Yes I'm a god damn doctor." McCoy curled his lip at him. "Well I was, I'll probably have a paralysis now. Won't be able to practice."

"Shit, really?" Jim's eyes were wide as he looked over at McCoy.

"No, Jim." Spock said softly.

"It's a possibility." Leonard scowled at him.

"A highly unlikely one." Spock agreed.

Jim shushed them both.

"At least it went all the way through, huh?" He said, as peeled Leonard's blood soaked hands away from the wound.

"Are we really making small talk about my _exit wound_!?" Leonard snapped.

"Oh my god, I can see the bone. I can see the bone."

Spock leaned over, and raied his eyebrows at the sight. Jim was right; you could, in fact, see the bone.

"If you're gonna be a god damn pussy about it then let me do it." Leonard scowled, reaching for the bandage.

Jim smacked his hands away. "I have a habit of finishing what I started, Bones." He said. "Now back off."

The tone to his voice told Leonard exactly why th other five followed his command.

Jim dabbed and swabbed at the wound, applying pressure here and there, and Leonard did his best not to howl in pain, even though it hurt. A lot.

"Alright Bones, I'm gonna bandage it up and we'll be done." Jim said.

"This has to be a dream. Or a nightmare, more like. This cannot be happening. This is too weird." Leonard babbled to himself, pain making his brain go funny.

Jim just chuckled as he wrapped his leg up tightly.

"There we are." Jim smiled, hands on hips.

"Are you gonna leave now?" Leonard asked, curling his lip at him again.

Jim rolled his eyes. "No. I need my team to regroup, and then we'll decide what we're going to do."

"Great." Leonard muttered. "Just great."

Carol and Uhura were the first to come back, clutching at phones with or without cords. They dropped them onto the coffee table, and Carol discretely slipped Leonard's cell phone into her jacket pocket.

Not discrete enough, though.

"You put that back or I'll hack off your hand." Leonard snapped.

Carol put the phone back down, casting her eyes to the floor. "Sorry."

"Sulu? Chekov?" Jim called.

"Here Captain." They nodded as they entered the room.

"Why the hell do they call you Captain?" Leonard asked.

"Because I'm captain of this operation." Jim said smugly.

Leonard rolled his eyes.

In a move he'd been planning for a while, he tried to stand up. Pain shot through his leg just as the other six jumped towards him.

The pain was too much. He blacked clean out, and hit the floor with a dull thud.

~*~

"He's coming round, everyone give him some room."

It was Jim's voice, and Leonard groaned.

"You still here?" He drawled, not daring to open his eyes.

His leg was throbbing, but he could tell he was no longer just lying on the ground, like he had been before; his back was propped up, mimicking a sitting position, and the underside of someone's chin brushed the top of his head. It took him a moment to work out that it was Jim.

"Yep. Still here." Jim confirmed.

Leonard would've complained, but being in Jim's arms was actually kind of nice. He was warm, and he smelled good.

Was this what Stockholm Syndrome felt like?

"Bones, just follow my lead." Jim whispered, his lips close to his ear. Leonard frowned, finally opening his eyes to take in his surroundings.

There was a paramedic in the corner, and Leonard noted that another one was patching up his leg. He then realised that he couldn't feel said leg. He blinked, and then looked over at the concerned faces of his robbers.

And then he looked up at Jim, hazel eyes betraying just how damn confused he was.

"I'll be right back." The paramedic said, giving them both a soft smile as she went back over to her co-worker.

"Jim, what the hell?" Leonard hissed.

"Firstly, don't rat us out." Jim whispered, his voice urgent and his eyes pleading with Leonard. "You blacked out, we got worried, so we called an ambulance."

"You were _robbing_ me and you called an ambulance?!"

"Shush!" Jim hushed him, looking panicked. Spock arched an eyebrow. Leonard considered smaking it off, but he kept his hands to himself. "We were worried." Jim finished. "And anyway, we're not so good at this thing anymore."

"I can see that." Leonard grumbled.

The paramedic returned, and Jim nudged him in the ribs to get him to shut up.

"You must have our boyfriend well trained, Dr. McCoy." She smiled.

"My boyfriend?" Leonard asked slowly.

Jim nudged him again. The paramedic just smiled. "Mm. He said he called an ambulance as quickly as he could, and he bandaged up your leg." Her eyes flicked up to Jim. "He did a good job."

"Oh did he now?" Leonard asked, eyes narrowing as he looked back up at Jim. "What'd I do witout my boyfriend, huh?"

"Lord knows." Jim smiled at him, and it was actually quite menacing; Leonard shut his mouth and looked down at his leg.

"Alright," The paramedic smiled. "We're going to get you into the ambulance outside and take you down to the hospital. You're going to need stitches." Her eyes flicked to Jim. "Can you help?"

"Sure." He nodded.

Between the three of them - Jim, Leonard and the Paramedic - they managed to get Leonard on his feet. He limped outside to the ambulance, and was bundled into the back.

"Your boyfriend can come with you, if you'd like." The paramedic told him.

Jim was about to make some excuse and Bones was about to let him go, when the words came out of his mouth of their own accord. "Come with me?"

Leonard was sure he saw something like a smile on Jim's lips. He clambered into th back of the ambulance and took Leonard's hand. Whether it was all part of the act or not, Leonard didn't know. He grinned, and squeezed Leonard's hand. "Sure."


End file.
